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One of motherhood’s most controversial topics – Formula feeding or breastfeeding? Which have you done, or currently do? Were both methods used? I call it controversial because it is a debatable topic to SOME mothers in the sense that breastfeeding and formula/bottle fed get critiqued quite often. Some Moms have said, “Fed is minimum”. Then you have others saying, “Breast is best”.
The Stigma Around Formula Feeding
We have to open up the stigma around this and normalize it. A recent study according to Pregnancy & Newborn Magazine concluded that public responses experienced by mothers made them feel guilty for bottle feeding and using formula and even resulted in negative feelings of self worth. They feared being judged for using formula. In speaking to my mom friends and others within the mom community, sometimes formula was the only option due to the fact that many of them had lactation issues and just had such a low supply.
The thing is, when you don’t have enough breast milk to feed your baby, or you’re struggling to get your supply up or can’t even breastfeed AT ALL, you get that formula out! The “breast is best” mentality has become entrenched in society. When you have a baby, everybody just assumes that you’re going to be breastfeeding. When it’s hard for your baby to latch on, supplementing becomes a necessity if the baby needs to be fed at that moment.
The stigma around formula use creates an impact on maternal mental health. When I was using formula for the first time, I felt that it was a “quick fix” way of feeding my daughter. I felt as though I was doing something wrong and it turns out I wasn’t. I thought my child wasn’t going to be as smart or healthy if I used formula. I felt like I was taking a shortcut and fast way to feeding her rather than just whipping out my boob and doing it the healthier way! Now that I am a second time mom, that’s out the window. I did what I had to do when I didn’t breastfeed at times.
Supporting Breastfeeding & Destigmatizing Formula
Now yes, breastfeeding has many health benefits and it does build that bond between a mother and her child. However, it’s hard to do at times. You have some moms who are able to breastfeed forever, each and every time, 24-36 months and they love it. Then you have moms who are able to do it for a short period of time from the first day to 1 month or two and then move on to formula. Either or, IT’S OKAY! We need to support breastfeeding regardless of the length of time it’s done. Quite frankly because of the STRENGTH it takes to breastfeed! Many moms can relate to the inverted nipples, cracked or painful nipples, and a child that’s unable to latch on. For a lot of new moms, breastfeeding is TORTURE! Then, for some moms it’s pure preference.
There’s so much pressure placed on mothers to breastfeed and the truth is that sadly, not all moms are able to, and THAT’S what we need to be supportive of; not so much the actual concept of breastfeeding being that it’s highly encouraged, but supportive of the simple fact of not always being ABLE TO! You’re not ruining your child’s health if you choose not to breastfeed and use formula. You will NOT be less than a mother for doing so. Mamas PLEASE do what is best for YOU and YOUR child. Fed is NOT minimum, FED is BEST!
So let’s normalize women and mothers being able to make an informed decision about how they feed their baby and be free from guilt or societal judgment. No negative connotation around formula feeding. NO ONE should feel bad about how they feed their babies! Your journey of motherhood should not be defined by how you are feeding them, but rather be enjoyable and filled with how much you do your best to love and care for them.
Also, if you are a mom to be or new mom, here are some resources to help in your decision making about how to feed and even some tips if you’re struggling with breastfeeding.
https://www.womenshealth.gov/breastfeeding/making-decision-breastfeed
https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/breast-bottle-feeding.html
https://www.babycenter.com/baby/formula-feeding/choosing-to-formula-feed_471
Denise says
I had 3 children and didn’t breast feed any of them. And they all turned out healthy with no ailments/sicknesses as of today. My oldest is 35 and she has an 18mo old and breast feed him until he was 1 years old. He too is very healthy to date. So I guess as you said, it’s all up to individual and what they’re able to do. And yes – we have to be supportive of all moms, regardless if they BF or not. Good article – thank you
Denise says
I had 3 children and didn’t breast feed any of them. And they all turned out healthy with no ailments/sicknesses as of today. My oldest is 35 and she has an 18mo old and breast feed him until he was 1 years old. He too is very healthy to date. So I guess as you said, it’s all up to individual and what they’re able to do. And yes – we have to be supportive of all moms, regardless if they BF or not. Good article – thank you
Lavanda Michelle says
I feel as if what the mothers chooses is their choice, because a some mothers can’t produce a lot or even any milk. So if the mother choses it probably better for her and her child. Like me I did both for each daughter because it varied for me. Thanks for educating and informing people!
Sasha says
I breastfed my son until about 1 year and was lucky to have no issues but everyone should 100% do what is best for them and their family!
Karla says
My breastfeeding journey hasn’t been perfect but I didn’t want to throw in the towel because of the ingredients in most infant formulas and the cost $$$ and let’s face it whipping out your boob to feed your little is much more convenient in the middle of the night. I strongly believe mothers should have more access to IBCLC to help with latch concerns and supply and to trained health care professionals to asses for any oral motor issues your infant may be facing.
Tina Everitt says
This!! I wanted to breastfeed but didn’t produce in my first two pregnancies and my hospital offered almost no education or support. In my third, I produced by the birth was incredibly traumatic and my daughter was premature, on a feeding tube and I couldn’t even hold her let alone feed her. I dried up, again with no education or support.
I’m 33 weeks in my 4th pregnancy and have learned so much thanks to research, my new doctor/nursing staff and so many incredible mamas online. I plan on breastfeeding and if latching is an issue, pumping and bottle feeding. But all 3 of my girls had formula and are healthy and intelligent.
Fed is best 🙌🏼👏🏼
Emily M Fata says
I think that whatever a mother chooses to do, is up to her! Both are okay. 🙂
Amber Myers says
I so agree: fed is best. I hate the people who make mothers feel guilty if they don’t breastfeed.
Tara Pittman says
Both are the best way to feed your baby. I have 5 kids and 2 were fed formula and 3 were breastfed. They all are healthy and smart kids.
Deborah Brooks says
This always has been a heated topic! My kids are in their 20;s now and it was heated back then too. I say, the best way to feed your baby is the way that works best for you and your family
Marjie Mare says
I have breastfed my kids with breast milk one for 5 months and one for 6 months. Then they both had formula. I feel like once you explain the benefit of breast milk to a mother, the choice is hers to feed her baby with whatever she decides.
Amila says
I breas fed my son till he was 3 years.It was very difficult to ween him and I didn’t have enough rest too.He completely refused formula in his first years.
Krysten Quiles says
I’ve never had children and don’t plan to, but I said that a mother should be able to choose whatever she feels is best.
Monidipa says
I am not a mother but I was formula fed… Yes, there is a stigma. It is not bad…
Sharon says
I agree that it’s more important for every mom to choose what’s best for their baby. Great post for letting every mom know that they are not alone in whatever they choose.
Alvern says
I did both because I am not a great wet nurse. If I don’t eat well then there just wasn’t enough milk to breastfeed my children. I also disliked the sound of that breast pump. Lol!
Mandi Pimental says
THANK YOU FOR THIS. First baby i EBF and this time around I have to supplement with my daughter. The mom guilt was REAL – but I found a doctor who supports me doing both and mamas like you who let us know its OK! We are doing the BEST WE CAN.
Alex says
Love this so much! So relatable. I had inverted nipples and a very low supply! I tried my very best to give as much breast milk as possible but only was able to last (with supplementation and pumping) for about a month. I still struggle with that sometimes, but then I look at my sweet babe and realize that she is healthy, happy, and so so loved – and that’s what truly matters!
Marjie Mare says
I have enjoyed breastfeeding both of my girls. As a nurse, I always educate my patients on the importance/benefit of breastfeeding so they can make an educated choice.
Amber S Battishill says
Love this and agree! A fed baby is a healthy baby – no matter if bottle or breast or both!
Heidi says
Great information for new moms! I am sure it’s appreciated!
Cindy E Ingalls says
I’m going to bookmark this to show my friend’s daughter-in-law.
tweenselmom says
Breastfeeding of course although I am aware that there are moms and kids who need formula feeding as well. Not everyone’s the same and some babies have different needs than other babies.
Joanna says
I think that each mother should decide for her own baby, and shouldn’t listen to other people’s opinion. A mother knows better what is best for her child. There are many reasons why a mother chooses not to breastfeed, and she shouldn’t be judged for any of them.
Lyanna Soria says
What a great topic to discuss especially for those who are new to motherhood. I believe it’s up to the mother if she wants to do breastmilk, formula, or both.