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Co-sleeping is when a parent and child sleep in close social or physical contact of each other, meaning that each can tell that the other is nearby whether bed sharing or sleeping in the same room. It’s also one of many major controversial topics in parenting circles. Parents have different opinions about whether to do it or not. Some feel it’s dangerous and not safe, while others feel it’s okay because it’s the only way to get some sleep.
Now, let’s face it – there are some babies or even toddlers who will not sleep in their crib or bed no matter what you do. You can have ponies swinging from the ceiling and they will still cry and holler or just get up and sneak into your bed. It happens! I remember with us, both our girls when they were babies just hated their crib. They would not sleep in it for nothing. Mind you I was also breastfeeding so that was a challenge too along with it. So we kept them in bassinets and then when they were 9 months we brought them into our bed and til this day as toddlers they still sleep with us. But if we wanted ANY type of sleep, that’s what we had to do!
However, it’s not an unusual thing. According to statistics at naturalchild.org 26% of infants coslept “always” or “almost always.” Combining them with the babies who cosleep “sometimes,” it appears that 44% of US babies from 2-9 months old are cosleeping in an adult bed at any given time. The same goes for some parents with toddlers as well. At age 1, 30% of families co-slept; at age 2, 26% of families co-slept and at age 3 years, 21% of families did. Here’s why co-sleeping works for some and why it doesn’t work for others or why they may not like it:
Why Co-sleeping Works For Some
- Parents say that the emotional bond with their baby is strengthened.
- Breastfeeding is prolonged and parents can easily breastfeed their children at night.
- The kids fall asleep faster or more easily which also helps parents get more sleep
- Easier to comfort them if they’re sick, or teething
- Better sleep cycles in which they’re easier to stay asleep while transitioning between sleep cycles which means fewer wakeups
- The emotional health – some cosleeping babies have higher self-esteem, and less anxiety. They’re also more comfortable with affection.
However, do you feel that children’s independence from their parents is hindered a bit from co-sleeping?
Why Some Don’t Like Co-sleeping
- Increased risks of SIDS – there have been so many close calls of parents losing their newborn due to co-sleeping and they just don’t feel safe doing it.
- Increased risks of suffocation – there may be a chance of strangulation or suffocation from all the blankets and pillows on the bed, or even if some parents are hard sleepers and rollover onto their children.
- The tight spaces that are in between the headboard and mattress, etc.
- Some parents feel it’s less privacy. They feel the bed should just be for them and their spouse.
- The independence is taken away as mentioned earlier in the question posed above. They feel that co-sleeping can create a more dependent child.
In some families, children start out in their own bed and then go into their parents’ room in the middle of the night, leading one parent to being “squished out” to the couch or the child’s bed, says Susan Stewart, professor of sociology at Iowa State University. Isn’t that the truth! Haha.
At the end of the day though parents are exhausted, stressed, and honestly it just seems easier to co-sleep. There is no right or wrong. It’s okay to frown upon it, prefer not to do it, and it’s okay to agree with it and do it. There’s a lot of pressure with this particular topic because everyone thinks they know how to parent better than everyone. So there’s a lot of judgment and very little support sometimes for parents.
Only parents can truly know their families’ specific needs, and they must be free to make the choices that best serve them—they simply have the right to choose. So parents, do you co-sleep?
Brittany says
OMG my child is such a wild sleeper! We had to quit co-sleeping REAL quick!! haha awe it was so sweet and fun though – Love this post. Great way of explaining co-sleeping and how it works for some!
amberl.hurley says
Awwww! Hahaha thank you for reading Brittany!
Katricia says
Lol we we’re always a united front when putting the toddler to bed. We’d read a book, put her in the bed, say goodnight and ease on out of the room. And then in about a hour we’d hear her up crying and moving towards our bed and we knew neither one of us were going to go through the process all over again and would just have her sleep with us with me hanging off of the side of the bed. 😂
amberl.hurley says
Hahahaha the struggle right?!
Amber Myers says
Co-sleeping was never for us. I know many do it, and that’s awesome, but for us I think personal space is important. And also, I bought a bed for my kids for a reason.
amberl.hurley says
I can appreciate your thought, thanks for reading!
Tara Pittman says
I co-slept with my kids when they were babies as it was the only way to get some sleep. That way I could feed them without having to get out of bed.
amberl.hurley says
Yea the convenience of it!
Jill says
Thank you for sharing both views on it. I know people usually are only willing to share what works for them. Either choice is a good one if it works for their family
amberl.hurley says
Thank you for reading!
Fatima D Torres says
We’ve slept with our kids since they were infants. The youngest is the only one left in our bed — and she’s almost getting kicked out to her room. It’s been quite a journey. I will say that it’s helped our bond with the kids.
Adrienne says
I co-slept with my first out of desperation but didn’t with #2 and #3. Ironically, I slept much better when I didn’t. Now we co-sleep with two pugs lol.
Ambuj Saxena says
Cosleeping happens in indian households for the longest duration and I’m sure this would come as a shock to many parents and people but in India, co sleeping is considered good for toddlers and offers more convenience to parents. Anyways thanks for throwing light on a topic less discussed in my circle.
blair villanueva says
I can’t relate much to this coz we don’t have a human baby at home. But can a baby cat count? She does co-sleep with us (sometimes) when we feel she deserves it.
But maybe co-sleeping with a human baby isn’t for me and my husband. We personally love our alone time.
Kileen says
I feel like in the parenting world, there are things that work or don’t work for some people and it seems like no matter what you do, someone, somewhere out there will be offended by it or find fault with it. So, figure out what works for you, your partner and your kiddos and just do that. Block out anyone saying what’s right or wrong, because chances are they are not an expert and have no idea.
Kileen
cute & little
Natalia says
I’m not a mom yet, but I can’t see anything wrong in co-sleeping, however it shouldn’t be overused. Maybe we should celebrate it on the weekends, so that kids know it’s a special time for them? 🙂
Alvern at Success Unscrambled says
As a parent of two children, I never encouraged co-sleeping as a habit because I knew it would be so difficult to get my kids to sleep in their own beds. I am so thankful that this approached worked quite well. There was the one time that my daughter was suffering from reflux and I had her in our bed for a few hours during the night but I did not get any sleep when I did that as I was so terrified that I would smother her.
Ivan Jose says
We co-sleep with our babies. It’s part cultural, plus it’s convenient for us so that we can easily feed them. And yeah, the emotional bond is there.
Emily Fata says
While I don’t have any children, I would definitely consider co-sleeping for the first couple of months with my little one (when I do have children of my own).
Catherine says
I always wanted to co sleep but none of my babies liked it. We have a bedside cradle like you, for the first 9 months and then they transition. One of my babies liked co sleeping at first, but then stopped and now likes it again. LOL
Heidi says
This is great advice for new parents!
Lisa says
I’m not a parent, but this in an interesting insight!
Marjie Mare says
I think it depends on the child and also the parenting style which can change. I did co-sleep with my first daughter which I enjoyed. My second daughter slept alone without any issues.